bleeurh.. The State Of Celibacy

Excrutiatingly long and excrutiatingly dull day.

Shouldn't have broken the self-imposed exile. i was happy during the long christmas break not meeting anyone at all, and just pottering about in my room and kitchen and only meeting davey for christmas and newyear, who doesnt count anywyas. shouldnt have have made a habit of meeting lumberjack every single day after term started, and going out for drinks with the manchunian and the bulgarian. heated up my blood again i think, and re-induced craving for testosterone. especially at wib-wobs, the untiring games of lets cuddle anita, exchanging chaste kisses with ni-tone under guise of enacting funny scenes or illustrating movie scenes or reward for a perfect cup of latte, and georgy-porgy teasing me as being their personal raggedy-ann to be thrown around and giving a back rub everytime my shoulders slump from the weight of work, and big-ed's crushing hugs when too many customers barge in and order blue cheese special, to make him feel better and making me sit on his knee to prove my weightlessness, and of course, the boss's penchant for a floorsliding dance moves and throwing me on the meat table to tickle me to death.

unendurable long day with no testosterone around and my state of celibacy is mortally challenged;
slept till 1, napped from 4 to 6, now sitting in gloomy reading light and typing reams of dull words.
waiting for a phone call, a text, an email, a nod, a nudge to dispel the gloom and give me an excuse to rattle out a laughter, deliver a hmmmm and fill my ears with the warmth of a communique from a different head.
shouldnt let the coldness thaw; thaw, warmth, flood, torrent, disaster. in every sense.